I originally thought
I would be very nervous
After all, he was standing behind the camera
Watching me approach another person
Watching me slowly become
A version of me he had never seen before
At first I would still sneak glances at the camera
Wondering what his expression was
Wondering if he already regretted it
But later
I seemed to forget more and more that he was still there
Even in a few moments
I deliberately looked at the camera and smiled
Because I knew
That look would torment him more than any words
He was the one who agreed to it
He was also the one holding the camera recording it
But when I truly began to no longer belong only to him
I realized
The most addictive thing
Was not secretly doing something bad
It was knowing that the most familiar person was watching me
Yet still unable to stop crossing the line
By the end of that day
I had almost forgotten the camera existed
But he hadn't...
He captured the entire process
From when I was still a little shy
To when I completely let go
All of it
The photos are only a few moments from that night
What I barely dare to watch again myself
Is in the video