The old monk’s eyes gleamed with inner light as he fixed his gaze on Weiyangsheng and spoke with patient guidance:
“It would be better, benefactor, to take advantage of your present youthful body while it remains that of a virgin, your vital essence undispersed and your yang energy abundant. With one stroke, sever that foul, sinful desire completely, and immediately take me as your master to enter the empty gate! This old monk is willing to be a mere stepping stone, a grindstone for your blade. If you dare make this great vow today, then after a hundred years when your stinking flesh has rotted away, looking upward you shall sit upon a lotus platform as a golden-bodied arhat; looking downward, your name shall never appear on the King of Hell’s register of oil cauldrons and seas of fire!”
The old monk twirled his prayer beads, his eyes boring into Weiyangsheng as he asked coldly:
“Benefactor, what is your decision?”
Weiyangsheng slapped his thigh and burst into loud laughter:
“Master, your discernment is clear! To tell the truth, the thought of taking refuge in the Buddhist order occurred to me even as a child; this stinking flesh of mine was always destined for the Dharma. What ruined it is that two immense wishes still remain unfulfilled in my heart, and I truly cannot bear to sever them with one stroke right now.”
He leaned back, idly tapping his folding fan against his palm, a meaningful smile playing on his lips:
“Besides, I have only just turned twenty this year, when my blood and energy are at their strongest and my body most robust. Better to let me descend the mountain first, fulfill the two fine matters that weigh on my heart, and thoroughly enjoy a few years in this flourishing world. When I have had my fill of pleasure and enjoyment, I shall naturally return to the mountain and allow you, Master, to perform the ordination on my head. That will not delay my attainment of enlightenment!”
Hearing this, the old monk’s eyelids lifted, and two venomous, serpentine gazes sliced across Weiyangsheng’s face as he asked sinisterly:
“May I ask, layman, just how great are the ambitions you harbor? Could it be that you wish to pass the imperial examinations with honors, rise rapidly in rank, and put your literary talents to use? Or do you intend to wield a three-foot sword at the frontier, earn a marquisate, and serve the court with loyalty?”
Weiyangsheng shook his head like a rattle-drum and scoffed:
“With my aspirations, I disdain such vulgar pursuits!”
The old monk snorted heavily through his nostrils and asked gravely:
“If you want neither fame nor office, then what do you seek?”
Weiyangsheng suddenly straightened his back and declared proudly:
“This wish of mine can be achieved with nothing but my own mortal body; it is no foolish daydream! To be frank, Master, my memory for study, my insight in meditation, and my inspiration in writing are all of the highest order in this vast world. The so-called literary luminaries of today are nothing but fame-seeking mediocrities! They rely on rote memorization and patchwork, stealing old essays and altering a few lines of stale poetry to dare proclaim themselves masters of a generation. In my eyes, they are all common frauds deceiving the world!”
His interest aroused, he stood up, flicked his sleeve, and struck a dashing, romantic pose:
“A true scholar who stands above the heavens and earth must read every rare book and miscellaneous learning under the sky, befriend every extraordinary person within the four seas, and visit every majestic mountain and great river! Then, retiring to his study’s warm chamber, he writes works that will be read and revered for generations. With good fortune, he may rank among the top three on the imperial list and handle a couple of great affairs for His Majesty; even if he dies of old age beneath a broken wall, he will have lived as an immortal romantic of the ages!”
Carried away, he raised one finger and struck the table heavily:
“Therefore, I have long inscribed half a couplet in my heart—the first line being: ‘To become the foremost talent in the world!’”
The monk’s face twitched as he pressed: “And the second line?”
Weiyangsheng’s lips moved, a bright spring-like flush appearing on his face, but he hesitated and did not reply at once.
Seeing his expression, the old monk’s mouth curved in mockery: “Since you cannot bring yourself to speak it, why not allow this old monk to match the second line for you?”
Weiyangsheng was taken aback, then patted his chest and laughed: “This is a secret thought I have kept hidden in my heart, never spoken to anyone…”
The old monk said coldly: “If I guess wrong, I accept punishment; if I hit the mark, do not try to deny it!”
Weiyangsheng treated it as a bluff and laughed loudly: “If Master can truly divine it, then you are a living immortal reincarnated; I shall kowtow and worship you without a single false word!”
The old monk gave a cold laugh, did not even lift his eyelids, and said offhandedly:
“Then the second line must be: ‘To sleep with the foremost beauty in the world.’”
Weiyangsheng’s mouth fell open, his eyeballs nearly popping out of their sockets! He stood frozen like a wooden chicken for a long moment, then suddenly slapped his thigh hard, gasping and crying out:
“Divine monk! Truly a divine being! These two lines are exactly what I have been turning over in my belly day and night, muttering through clenched teeth even in dreams! How could Master guess them so precisely?”
The old monk sneered mockingly:
“Has the layman never heard the saying—‘In a dark room with a guilty conscience, the divine eye is like lightning; whispers in the human world are heard in heaven like thunder’?”
Weiyangsheng simply tore off his scholar’s cap, casting aside all pretense of refinement, and shamelessly leaned forward to confess:
“By rights, such lustful talk should never sully a master’s pure ears in a sacred Buddhist place. But since you have seen through me at a glance, I shall hide nothing—To be honest, my heart for cultivating Buddhism and saving the world is as thin as window paper, yet the evil fire of lust burns within me daily, fiercer than oil poured on flames! Since ancient times, the four words ‘talented man and beautiful woman’ must be welded tightly together, inseparable! A top-tier talent like myself is destined to be matched with a peerless beauty; otherwise, how could those nation-toppling, city-captivating looks be wasted on crude and vulgar fools?”
His eyes grew brighter as he spoke, spittle flying in excitement:
“Setting aside my heaven-shaking, ghost-weeping talent, just look at my appearance and bearing—facing the mirror daily, even if Pan An or Wei Jie were resurrected before me, I would not yield an inch! Since Heaven has produced such an outstanding figure as myself, how could it fail to produce a soul-stealing beauty to accompany me?”
He clenched his fist tightly and declared fiercely:
“It is precisely because this evil fire cannot be suppressed that I, past twenty, have refused to betroth or marry, fearing that wedding some ordinary woman would waste this romantic body of mine! After I descend the mountain this time to wander the rivers and lakes, find the world’s finest beauty and consummate the affair, enjoying the pleasures of fish and water to the fullest and continuing the family line, then—my lifelong desires fulfilled and my flesh thoroughly satisfied—I shall sever worldly ties. Not only will I return to shave my head and become a monk, but I shall also bring my lovely wife into the empty gate with me, ascending to the other shore together!”
He caught his breath, chin slightly raised, and looked at the old monk with raised eyebrows:
“Master, what do you think of this plan of mine?”
The old monk’s eye twitched as he crushed the ebony prayer beads in his palm with a “crack,” and said expressionlessly:
“From this, it seems the layman refuses to suffer the slightest loss and blames the blind, muddled Creator for giving birth to you! Had He granted you a crippled, ulcerous, pus-dripping monstrous body in the womb, your remaining spark of spirituality might more easily have attained enlightenment. Throughout history, those afflicted with leprosy, epilepsy, or paralysis—whose flesh endured Heaven’s great punishments—were instead able to forge indestructible immortal bodies. That is the principle.”
The old monk leaned forward, his gaze like a bottomless dry well, his tone growing colder:
“When you were conceived, Heaven must have indulged you to excess, like foolish parents spoiling a wastrel—never willing to touch a single hair or speak a harsh word. Once this unruly youth grew up, relying on his fair skin and strong bones, he thought even the Heavenly King could not control him, committing every kind of evil in the streets! Only when he committed a heinous crime, had his trousers stripped and his buttocks beaten to pulp by officials, and was dragged to the execution ground to have his head severed, did he weep bitterly and blame his parents for spoiling him too much—alas, too late for regret!”
He pointed a bony finger at Weiyangsheng’s chest:
“This fair, tender skin and this lawless, spoiled temperament of yours—is that a blessing? Clearly it is a soul-hook stretching from the fires of hell! You claim to be the foremost talent and thus seek the world’s foremost beauty—never mind whether you can find such a rarity; how will you prove the word ‘foremost’? If you later encounter an even more captivating woman, will you not tire of the old and crave the new?!”
At this, the old monk’s voice suddenly rose like thunder cracking across a plain:
“Even if we take ten thousand steps back, suppose this number-one beauty’s temperament matches yours exactly and refuses to marry just anyone, insisting on waiting for the world’s number-one talent—if you can marry her openly and honorably, well and good; but what if she is already married to another? What then, benefactor?”
The old monk suddenly stood up, his kasaya billowing without wind, towering over Weiyangsheng:
“Benefactor, do you wish to ascend to heaven or descend to hell?! If you are determined to leap into the boiling oil cauldron, then descend the mountain and seek your number-one beauty; if you wish to rise to heaven and become a Buddha, cast aside those wanton, filthy thoughts at once and follow this old monk into the empty gate!”
Faced with the old monk’s aggressive questioning, Weiyangsheng was not intimidated; instead, he leaned back in his chair, crossed his legs, and sneered dismissively:
“Master speaks of ‘heaven’ and ‘hell’ as if from some vulgar street tale—hardly the words of a transcendent monk! Zen cultivation lies in self-realization; as long as this disciple stands his flesh-and-blood body in this red-dust world, he himself becomes the living Buddha practicing amid the world!”
He glanced sideways, flicked open his folding fan with a “swish,” and grew more smug:
“Even if this disciple is licentious by nature and commits some watery sins upon women’s bellies, at worst he merely smashes the chastity arch of those fake Confucian sages—surely the netherworld does not truly have several boiling oil cauldrons waiting to cook me?! These are nothing but ghost stories to frighten three-year-old children!”
The old monk was not angered by this frivolous speech; instead, a cold smile tugged at his lips:
“‘The virtuous ascend to heaven, the wicked descend to hell’—it does sound like empty street-corner talk. Yet you self-proclaimed mad scholars think you can leap beyond the rules and laws of this world; only the iron law of cause and effect, of reaping what you sow, cannot be escaped even if you grew three heads and six arms! The distinction between heaven and hell is exact in the unseen realm. Even if there truly is no heaven, the gentleman must still use it as a ladder toward goodness; even if there truly is no hell, people must still use it as a cleaver to fear evil!”
The old monk raised one hand before his chest, his tone shifting from measured to grave, each word striking like a heavy drumbeat:
“Since you dismiss the underworld as illusory, this old monk will not speak of reincarnation or retribution, but only of the present-life consequences in the life you are living! The ancients said: ‘If I do not violate another’s wife, another will not violate my own.’ Has there ever been one throughout history who escaped the palm of this saying? Whoever, against his conscience, toys with another’s wife or daughter—his own wife or daughter will sooner or later lose her virtue to another man! To break this karmic retribution, you must restrain your lustful heart in this lifetime and stay far from all adulterous deeds; if you dare commit evil, this clichéd retribution will surely fall heavily upon you!”
The old monk slammed both hands on the table, leaning forward and staring into Weiyangsheng’s eyes:
“Layman, do you wish to escape this cause and effect? If you wish to fall into the trap and die, then go seek your world’s foremost beauty; if you wish to attain a pure life, immediately cast aside those filthy thoughts and follow this old monk to achieve enlightenment!”
#ClassicNewTranslationOfTheCarnalPrayerMat