I've been at this new company for more than half a year, experiencing the painful period of almost daily overtime in the first three or four months. Until today, when eating with my family, my mom casually asked me: 'How many years have you been at that company? Have you gotten a raise?' Only then did I calmly say for the first time that I had resigned from my previous company where I worked for four years, and I've been at the new company for more than half a year.
I didn't choose to talk about it, not intentionally hiding it, but when I just switched jobs, I had a sense of uncertainty in my heart. I was thinking whether this job is stable, whether I can handle it, and before I stood firm, there wasn't much to say. Unexpectedly, two months after joining, a series of shocks directly made me doubt my life.
Besides having to relearn when switching industries, this company is really very fragmented in data integration; every report has its purpose, but there's no integrated platform among them. For a newcomer, it's not just about learning 'how to use it', but first understanding 'what is this even for', which took a lot of time to comprehend, and still, I have to switch between different forms, piecing together information myself.
During that time, I was almost working overtime every day, and that kind of tiredness wasn't just from a large workload, but from my brain constantly switching and searching for answers; honestly, it's not inferior to the overtime frequency at my previous company, and even gave me the feeling of 'jumping from one pit of fire to another'.
It was very painful, and I was working while in pain.
I wasn't without the thought of giving up, and I even secretly asked about the situation at my previous company, to see if there's a chance to go back; at that time, I was very conflicted, on one hand thinking I shouldn't give up so quickly, on the other hand really feeling it's very hard to persist, every day wondering whether to continue on this path.
Until this past month, the situation slowly started to change a bit. The overall workload eased a little, and colleagues helped me make an integrated report; although it's not perfect, at least there's a prototype for linking information. I was testing and adjusting it, and also telling myself in my heart that people can't do everything perfectly, health is more important, no need to force it with my life.
I started to force myself to set a line: I can work overtime, but not too late; things can be digested slowly, but don't push myself to collapse. For me, who was used to 'doing a little more', this is actually not easy, but it's an important thing I've learned in the past half year.
Because of this, when asked about my work situation today, I felt like I was a bit prepared, can say it out loud, not because everything has improved, but at least it's not as chaotic and helpless as at the beginning, and I have a sense of control.
Whether the future will continue in a good direction, I don't dare to guarantee; the problems in this company are still there, and the complexity of the industry won't suddenly become simple, but at least now there's some foundation for integration, which might really save me some time, so I won't be so embarrassed in the upcoming line expansion and trial production.
As for how to go in the future, we'll talk about it later; for now, I seem more inclined to first stabilize the path in front of me.