〈Safe Word〉
That day we broke up
You said not to mention those things about love anymore
Only asked if we could do it one last time
You were very rough
Almost choking me to death
So intense that I thought
You really wanted to erase me from the world
But I didn't struggle
Because it was you
Perhaps realizing
The reaction was different from before
You suddenly stopped and asked
"Why don't you say the safe word?"
I looked at you
Tears falling quietly
"Are you crazy?"
The safe word between us
Has always been I love you
But now
Since you don't want me anymore
Can I still say it?
You stared at me blankly
As if finally understanding
What you were doing
Your hand slowly let go
In that moment
It hurt more than suffocation
I thought you would leave
But you didn't
You just lowered your head
Your forehead gently pressed against mine
"...I'm sorry"
You reached out to hug me
Very gently, very afraid of losing
Just like before
I finally cried out loud
Grabbing you
Like hugging you for the last time
You said in my ear
"That sentence, if you're still willing to say it once"
I closed my eyes
My voice trembling unlike itself
"I love you"
You hugged me tightly
Without losing control
Without hurting
Only not wanting to let go
This time
It's not the safe word
But us, starting over